When somebody shows you......believe them.....

Part of the introspection I have found this month has been surrounding relationships.....and my role in them.....and I have learned that much of our heartache comes as a result of our own doing.....not always but at certain points for sure.....there has been a war raging inside of me in this chapter between a trait inside of me, and my boundaries moving forward, and finding a way to temper those two things......I have touched on this battle before.....I am inherently a person that believes what people say......I tend to have lots of patience and give lots of chances......being OK with people and their humanness......and giving grace in the face of an offense, instead of honoring myself sometimes......I have been like that all of my life.....and now I am in a new phase of my life.....one with healthier boundaries....one with my eyes wide open.....and one that requires me to be more discerning with that part of myself.....never wanting to lose that part. It is one of my favorite qualities.....because well......we are all just human......but also no longer putting myself in a position to be taken advantage of or hurt.....and it is simple.....when somebody shows you who they are......like really shows you......believe them.....and I have seen that in my relationships with men on repeat, and have not heeded that first warning....and then maybe not the second, or third, or tenth......just creating the image of them that I wanted to see, and hoping if I kept believing in them, they would show up that way......and that isn't the way it works......when somebody shows you who they are believe them......the first time, I am working on that.....and as I begin dating I am remaining mindful of that.....looking for actions and real stuff to hang my hat on.....not putting the rose colored glasses I am so good at wearing on......remaining clear and conscious......and not in a way that will not offer understanding and grace again.....I so deeply believe in both of those things......but I won't fool myself again.....waiting for somebody to step up in the ways I need while watching them not do it over and over.....and hanging my hat on my hope that it will be different.....there are defining moments right? Where a person shows their character.....and who they really are.....and those are the moments that I have ignored in the past.....or made excuses for......when in reality I should have heeded them way earlier....and well when you know better, you do better:) And the other piece is when you give chances....to people that lack gratitude and appreciation, it is a waste of energy and time....giving somebody more of what they already don't appreciate, won't make them appreciate it more, plain and simple.......and it has taken me nearly 48 years to realize that fully.....and better late than never right?;-) Old dog new tricks on repeat! Happy Thursday:)