You betrayed YOUrself.........

I have written about the deep thread of betrayal that is embedded in my life's path.....having had the people I loved the most "do me dirty" if you will......taking my trust and love and shattering it in the end of our time together......having me realize that the door is closed fully, and that I cannot spend anymore of my time or life near them.......even if they were the ones to end our time, that clarity arriving so clearly in the wake of their actions.....and I have spoken many times that betrayal is horrid......it is, in my opinion, having gone through it in the ways I have, one of the worst things humans can do to other humans......because in the aftermath it creates a cascade of things for the person that was betrayed to contend with, a mental labyrinth, full of tunnels and trap doors......I always refer to it as the "funhouse".....an endless playback of what you both shared, and wondering which parts, if any were true......and we tend to be linear that way.....well if they ended up lying or cheating, then their capacity for love and devotion must not be real right? And maybe as I type that and think on it for a minute, that isn't fully true......not many things in this life are ONE way.....we live in duality often.....having parts of ourselves that don't line up with others......so perhaps in light of that aha I just had, gosh I love this blog for that reason;-) Speaks to the fact that I can trust some of what I experienced with these people, despite the end of the story.....and I have refused in later years to pick it up and carry it anymore.....I carried it some after my ex husband left....but have put it down back down the road, it was heavy....and the truth is I didn't deserve to carry it with me......and each time it has happened a very simple fact has stepped forward, whether it was a betrayal in love or friendship......the person in question betrayed THEMSELVES.......not me........they gave into a broken place in them, perhaps a place that feels unworthy, or has been met with pain and suffering in their own lives, and turned it on a person that truly loved them.....and I do not say it to say I am perfect or better in any way.....just in a deep awareness that what I was offering was REAL.....the guy that read my chart commented on that too........the depth of my love and the authenticity of what I offer my people.....he could see it all......and unfortunately it has yet to be treated and appreciated for the gift it is in romantic love.......a loyal and unconditional quality that is not around every corner.....being able to see past a person's BS, for lack of a better term, and see the true potential living within them.....seeing their sparkly self before the rest......I suppose it is why I was drawn to teaching and coaching.....students and clients needing a person to believe in them before they believe in themselves......and I am happy to oblige:) Because it comes from the best place inside of me......the coziest place, and so these people that have betrayed me, or thought they were betraying me, taking advantage of my light and love, ultimately betrayed themselves.....the longer I journey and the more I see, and see that so clearly.....and in turn their betrayal of self, set me FREE, each time:) Funny how that works;-) Happy Tuesday!:)