Being vulnerable comes with a price.....when you allow yourself to "show" yourself fully to the people in your life.......and if they end up not remaining in your life, you pay the price of feeling them carrying a part of you with them.....maybe one you didn't want them to.....or one they don't deserve, or one you regret sharing with them.......or........and I have felt that a few times.....in both relationships, and friendships.....wishing I was wired to play it closer to th

Our conscience is our compass in this world.....leading us to do the things we should be doing and steer us away from the things we shouldn't.......right??? Some people having a stronger one than others....... When I was a kid mine was so so strong, causing me anxiety often if I did a small kid transgression, feeling as if I had to tell on myself immediately to quell the angst that followed it. Feeling when I veered off track ,and seeking to make it right....and see that is t

Breadcrumbs often have a negative connotation.....being the coined phrase people use to describe somebody that doesn't commit.....and strings somebody along.....but those are not the breadcrumbs I am referring to today! I am talking about the ones that lead us to where we need to be in this life......and that is what this weekend was about for me.....in a real sense.....just confirming that every moment is crucial.....and so important if we listen.....there were some things t

I have gone to therapy at certain points in my journey....the first time was in my 20s when anxiety came, and touched down in my experience, finding me with its strength and might, and turning my life completely upside down.....and therapy was the way....I had a therapist named Elliot....an older Jewish man that I liked very much.......he helped me find my way past that, by showing me the power found in Cognitive Behavior Therapy......the power to reframe, and in turn reclaim

That recent date I went on, made me think some, just about the "rules and norms" on modern dating, and middle aged dating in particular.....when you are young, and meeting people, or dating, or any of it, it just makes sense......I knew what to do, perhaps having youth on my side;-) However I find middle aged dating to be something entirely different.....and there was a moment that happened on the date I recently had, that made me wonder what it was I was feeling.....and I th

We all have elusive places in our lives.....or maybe not....perhaps there are people out there that have it ALL;-) whatever that means;-)......what does that mean anyway???....to have it all....sometimes I feel that way.....no lack creeping in.....I am blessed to live in a beautiful home, I have a healthy and sound body, mind, and spirit, I have healthy children, I make enough to make a nice life for us, we have full bellies:)......and I am happy and peaceful.....:) But I ha

In sharing my "anniversary" post yesterday, I realize it may may be questioned by some.....like why after all these years keep mentioning it?.....That is a valid question....and well there are so many things that come to mind to answer that question.....first the clarification of my not being stuck in the place of my divorce.....I am not....I never want anybody to think that even for a second, that THIS whole thing defines my life, in a real sense, THIS journey has unfolded t

Today IS the day.....the day that my heart has felt for a couple of months now....cathartic spaces circling round, as I walked my way here. The body keeps score.....no doubt....and my body always feels this day as it circles round each year....but not as you would think........Having it be the most profound event in all of my life......or perhaps the most pivotal, it always comes packing something for me....and this year it is a summit point.....I have talked about having loo

A few months before I found out I was pregnant with a girl, I longed for a daughter......a longing that took me quite by surprise and one that was so strong....and if I had tried to order a daughter......outlining all the specs and characteristics.....I would have fallen short of creating all the pieces of who she is....she is an extraordinary person....I know I am bias;-) but many other people have echoed that sentiment, and much of it to do with just who she is....and how s

This break has been lovely....really......it seems so long ago that it was Christmas Day already in a weird way that doesn't make sense:).....but having a full two weeks was substantial.....and as I look to school beginning again....we are in a long run of the year.....winter is tough.....disrupted schedules due to weather....germs abound.....long spans without a break....so I am taking a deep breath, as we board the second half of the year....the first half was great! And I

The journey to this place, this morning, right where I am.....has been so often hallmarked for me as a journey without love, because of the stark absence of a healthy romantic love in my life....and having so much of what happened be such a blatant lack of love......teaching me to learn to love myself.....well....and well that was the point I believe:).....but last night made me view it so differently....my kids always fill the love spot for me.....always and that is never lo

There have been many cathartic notes finding me as this year closes.....and places where nostalgia lives....and as I approach the 5 year mark of my journey as a divorced gal, that has held some emotions for me......reflection.....all of it.....and so I had decided awhile back to extend an invite to my circle of women.....and bring them all together tonight....and thank them for walking this path with me.....and really it could have encompassed so many women.....there are so m

The human condition and psychology is fascinating truly.....the more I learn, the more I seek to learn.....and truthfully all of the hours of therapy, and study I have done has helped me more than anything I have done to heal....because when you truly discover that what people do is a direct reflection of their internal state, it takes the sting out of it. And helps ease unnecessary hurt, because most of the time it isn't about you.....it is about their emotional landscape...

So I did a thing last night, with the help of my mama.....and I bought a box of dye, actually two at the store, and went ALL in on reclaiming more of my red from long ago as this New Year found me.....and I LOVE IT!!!! It was time.....and so apropos.....as I was feeling this deep transformation of who I was, and feeling sorta brand new again in this journey again in some new ways.....and well this new gal, needed a new do;-) ....and here is the cool thing that stuck out to m

Today marks a completion for me.....from what I have read is a 9 year cycle for us all....how that resonates for you is what is true.....it began in 2016......and for me that is the year I had my daughter.....and maybe for that first year of that, my marriage was in a good spot....we really enjoyed her, and her arrival sparked life in our challenged marriage....having been mom and dad to our sweet and special boy before her she came on the scene......and then in 2017, more 20

I see so many people in awe of the change and the things 2025 brought to their doorsteps....maybe reeling some. Looking back and thinking, wow, how did I survive that.....or wow, I am SO different than I was last January 1st, and for me that one resonates so so deeply......this year has brought transformational change, the kind that excavates your soul, and asks you to dig deeper......and I have done that.....digging in.....and swimming in the depths of myself to bring about

To "Exit stage left" means to leave a situation quickly, quietly, or embarrassingly, often making way for others" And this week.......... amid the holiday loveliness.... has also found me deep diving into apparently some healing that I was being called to do....see that is the cool thing now, when something surfaces for me, I trust it, and I know it is for me to look at it and move through it....Somebody else posted about their deep dive in the past etc and ooof....right??? A

Perhaps for the first time in my life, the last couple of years has had me pondering the power found in the LAST time.....we never know when something we love to do has met its completion.....the last time finding its way into our story.....the last time we have dinner with our grandparents.....the last time we hold our baby......the last time we speak to somebody we once loved.....the last time we hug somebody......the last time we celebrate something a certain way.....the l

There have been many lessons that will be carried into 2026 with me.....the lessons, not the baggage;-).....and one of them is that my intuition is SO strong now.....I have carried it with me all of my life, but now I feel it so fully......I had mentioned going on that date....and feeling as if, despite our having a lovely time, we may be mismatched in some ways....but we had also become friends on FB, and I thought we may build a friendship and we had talked about that....an

I set out this holiday season to crank the magic up some, my girl perhaps bidding farewell to Santa this year, even though she doesn't know it yet:( Although she wants to believe deeply, so perhaps next year will find her wanting to live Santa in our home:) however Santa will always be alive in our home, for my son.....he will always believe and therefore lend us his Christmas magic;-).......but based on some signs, I felt that perhaps Santa wouldn't reside in the same way h