In the wake of my divorce the grief of losing my family of four nearly swallowed me whole....like ALL consuming, and hurt like hell......because all I wanted my whole life was to have a family......that was it......the only thing that I put on my radar as a MUST, the rest was all gravy.....and when I had achieved that.....a husband, a son, a daughter.....well what else is there....and so to watch it be destroyed was excruciating.....however there was a plan:) One beyond my vi

So I have come to believe we all carry themes of our own.....like walking, literary works of art, each housing our novels, and stories in the depths of our souls......and as we travel those themes in our stories are shown as the plot reaches a fever pitch......and mine has been surrounding self worth as it comes to romantic love.....or maybe that is one of the major themes, there are always others;-) But that one is ever present......spinning round and round.....and in this l

I have written a few entries with this title in the last 5 years.....and it is because it continues to circle around.....and maybe it was that big beautiful moon that brought it to my doorstep.....But it was intense and deep yesterday.....just feeling it all again.....the weight of the betrayals that have been laid on my lap, by some of my favorite humans.......not strangers doing horrid things......but people I loved so deeply, and thought loved me the same.....people I trus

I wrote this week about stepping out of my comfort zone, and running two workshops for fellow teachers....and it is one thing to do it for people who sign up to hear you, or pay to hear you, but it is another to do it for people that are going to an in-service that they wish they had opted out of lol:) And they all teach so........YIKES lol:) But the day was magic, I was RIGHT where I was supposed to be in each moment......The keynote speaker had a story similar to mine.....b

When the fallout of the lying that was happening in my life broke free, I got to see the depth of what is possible.....the ability to fool, and actively deceive another human.....one that wanted to believe in a person so desperately.....and I have seen it play out other times too.....but today's blog isn't about those lies......it is about all the lying I have done to myself.....Just endless at certain points......making excuses, or telling myself something, while my gut was

My favorite season is the holiday season.....and this year in January will be the 5th anniversary of his leaving, and the beginning of my NEW life........And up until now the holiday season had a cloud hanging over it some.....because it was also the time of year I uncovered his infidelity, more than once.....so the body keeps score, and remembers.....and quite honestly, since Covid the holidays have felt strange.....and then last year I had my kitchen torn up....being able t

As I spin in this new era, and have the clarity come and find me over and over again....and in ways it hasn't before, I see my role in the things that have happened to me.....I allowed it....simple.....and the excuse I could make, which is true.....is that I believe in grace and second chances,,,...still true.....but that doesn't excuse my allowing some of what happen to me happen.......and unfortunately there is a group of people that take advantage of that......not seeing i

So what you focus on grows, that is some truth I have discovered for sure, and also what you choose to focus on changes the way your life FEELS......yesterday I blissed out, and ran around all day dressed as JOY from "Inside Out," feeling that so deeply....having that feel like ME......and then we went trick or treating last night, and it ended up being a beautiful night in town.....I was not all that excited to go, but the magic of it got a hold of me.....and it was beautifu

Today we are doing "Inside Out" for Halloween......and one of my work besties asked me to be JOY, and I am excited.....I love that movie so much......it touches my heart so deeply.....makes me cry every time.......but this morning it feels like life imitating art......I wonder sometimes about the impressions people had about me in my other life......or at different chapters in my story.....I have heard my attitude of gratitude be mentioned.....that has been with me for a long

I have written about the deep and all encompassing relationship that just ended in my life....and there must be something in the air this past week....bringing with it some awareness, and some glancing over my shoulder......I also had a dream that he was in last night, so there is that too......and I have been remembering where our relationship began....and how important it was to my healing....the new friendship we had formed....and I wrote a little ways back about desiring

It is time.....I can feel it in my soul.....it is time to go ALL IN on my business.....and create the things I have wanted for awhile....and I started my business 4 years ago....and the truth is, I have been playing it safe,,...and avoiding some of the business stuff I know I need to do....and it is TIME....because my main source of income isn't my business, it gets easy to move along in the ways I have.......I do put consistent effort into it, but I am going ALL gas NO brake

I have come to learn that healing is a circle.....it really is.....not linear.....not point A to B.....but a giant circle we walk, until the circle closes.....or maybe almost does.....but I got hit with the need to take a healing walk yesterday.....I trust them when they come....facing the pain....grabbing my surfboard, and riding the wave is the way beyond....not pushing it away....or running from it......and at its source, this might be one of the deepest ones.....I came in

I sorta coined a phrase awhile back.....my forever nerdy girl making references to stories, or words, or anything related to language, or any of that:) And so lighted breadcrumbs came on my radar.....Hansel and Gretel playing in the background:).....and as I have been traveling those breadcrumbs that light for me, are THE WAY.....metaphorically speaking......and they have led me to all of the places I have been meant to go.....or needed to go.....and for me....it never gets l

I made my announcement yesterday about where the direction of my business is heading in 2026! And I am READY for it.......my heart will forever lie with the divorced woman.....and my business will always have an open door to coach THAT woman....the one that was me....BUT it is time to grow and expand.....this January will be the 5th anniversary of the end of my marriage.....and as the story fades into the rearview mirror, being the story that was the catalyst to change, and t

Early on in this journey I was called to LET GO.....nearly 5 years ago.....let go of a future I thought I would have with my then husband......let go of my family of four.....which nearly killed me, all of that......letting go of what I thought my life would look like.....letting go of everything I believed to be true up until that point.....and watch the pieces get thrown off a cliff.....falling at a rapid rate, and not being able to be retrieved.......and then I learned to

I have been witnessing enormous transformation for the last 7 years.....people around me changing and growing, leaving their old selves behind.....some people changing for the better and some not.....and I ponder so often the "old selves" and where they go?? Because essentially we are ourselves.....but I have experienced such an intense and rapid transformation myself in this chapter, that I can speak to it some, and how it feels while living it......but I still don't know w

I have been blessed to be front row in a lot of people's transformations....and gosh it is a blessed place to sit.....some through friendships, and some as a result of coaching, and teaching, and it came to me last night as I was on a coaching call, that it is a result of THE Decision.....the one that has the power to CHANGE YOUR life....but our lives don't change until a decision is made......THE decision......THE ONE that changes the game....and so it got me thinking furthe

I feel as if that call I answered, the one to become a coach, and start my business, helping the woman that was me find her sea legs too, has expanded lately......the pull toward women's issues is SO strong.....and the idea of empowering women in their own lives has taken hold so completely....and my work in wellness has been a part of that too, which IS a part......we empower ourselves, when we take good care of ourselves......no question....that is when we give ourselves ou

Nearly 2 decades ago my journey as a special needs mom began....and as I think of it this morning, and was immersed in it for the last couple of days, it has been another journey.....all its own....running simultaneously amid the rest of the stories of my life.....and I guess life is like that.....and when it began I was sure God had made a mistake.....when I became pregnant, all I wanted was a "healthy and normal" baby....whatever that meant right lol:) And the irony of that

Once upon a time I did not have the confidence to come to Children's Hospital of Philadelphia myself.....my ex often not being able to go due to work, but going with me sometimes.....and my dad normally was my sidekick for the excursions.....before my daughter was born......and we spent nights in a hotel before his appointments.......I remember one less than pleasant experience where Gabe threw up on his little blanket that he loved......his "beebit".....and I spend the night